Great Love Letters

Ludwig Van Beethoven
"Immortal Beloved"
The Third Letter Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all
Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Expecting Mom

I have a new baby that's coming. MY PUPPY!!!! :D
I'm preparing and educating myself for the new bundle of joy!
I'm still trying to think of a name for it... any suggestions?

physical discipline helps studies

so throughout the semester, i've been determined to lose weight because my 1L year, i lived a very unhealthy lifestyle. I ate mcdonald's all the time due to lack of time, ate out and overate a lot due to stress, and my only exercise was the walk from my car in the school parking lot to my classroom.THerefore, this year I was driven...focused, to lose weight.

The beginning was not easy because my body was not used to working out; it had to readjust. And then I thought the middle period would get easier, but it actually got even HARDER than the beginning because I had to fight internally, and push myself even more to to keep-up the workout routine. As i was struggling physically, I kept wanting to quit because at certain points, it was too difficult to continue. But that's when I had to mentally force myself to keep going despite the pain. I set my eye on the goal. I focused on it. I ran towards it until I reached that goal.

So now, after going through the physical endurance in the beginning of the semester, I realize it is very applicable to the end of my semester. Before this semester, I never really understood it when people said physical discipline can help your mental discipline because all I got from my exercises was fatigue. But now, as I'm studying for my finals like a maniac, i realized how helpful my workouts were throughout the semester. Because while you're studying, you go through the same hurdles. You continually want to give up due to the overwhelming mountain of information you have to memorize and apply. You don't think you're going to make it. You second guess yourself many times. But that's when you realize, similarly to your exercises, you have to focus on the goal, and just continue to run towards it.. even if it might hurt and seem impossible.

Then in the end, after you cross the finish line, the accomplishment will taste so sweet.

Words + Acts = Love

Today, I was very stressed out trying to study for my evidence final. I was complaining like none other to my significant other, yohan. After a couple hours of whining and stating that I was hungry, I told yohan I was going to go for a drive and get some food (even though I was low on money, being the grad student that I am in her last week of the semester). When I told him I was about to head out, he said, "there's no need. I already ordered for you. All you have to do is just step out and sign the receipt." (not to mention, he did it from indiana/chicago while i was in ann arbor,mi)
LOW AND BEHOLD. MY FOOD. there was a huge bag of chinese food filled with beef w/ wide noodles, chicken & broccoli in garlic sauce, and a side of my favorite, crab rangoon.

Men, and even ladies, we can all learn from yohan. It's the little things that say I love you. Don't only tell them you love them... SHOW them you love them.

the tortoise wins

"Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have lies in this; when I have a subject in hand, I study it profoundly. Day and night it is before me. My mind becomes pervaded with it. Then the effort that I have made is what people are pleased to call the fruit of genius. It is the fruit of labor and thought." - Alexander Hamilton

*this quote is very close to my heart. It's something i'm trying to achieve throughout my law school career. Every time i read this, it drives me to do even more than what I think is enough.

Freud... help!

So.. I had a dream last night that woke me up really early in the morning because of how weird and unpleasant the dream was.

My dream first took place at Pizza House (odd i know). Yohan was there to visit me from Chicago, almost everybody from church were there... and even my old friends from high school were there. Then the dream took a really REALLY strange turn. We were all having fun and eating pizza, talking to one another... having a grand old time. Then while we were about to head out... we looked at the streets and saw that there were dead bodies everywhere. It was SO weird because I actually saw a body of a black man with jeans, a brown belt, a red plaid bubble/fleece vest, timberland boots, and a black winter hat. Newhoo. So we were all in shock and someone said, "It's ok.. im sure it's nothing. Let's go home to our families." But then yohan said "no... i don't think that's wise. I think we need to stay here because they might be anywhere. We can get killed if we walk out those doors right now. At least here, we can hide wherever we want to hide." So we all decided to go to a place where we can each hide in if we felt that someone was coming to kill us. We were watching the news also, (since pizza house has tvs), and we saw that there were terrorists roaming around Ann Arbor, killing many random people for an unknown reason. We actually saw the terrorists walk past pizza house with guns in their hands.

While we were hiding out at pizza house, a police officer came in looking for Chris Li. We asked if we could leave but he said it was too dangerous. But he wanted to see Chris Li because he was responsible for selling guns to some of these terrorists. (no, i do not have a problem with Chris. haha.) Chris Li said he didn't have the papers on him right now, and that he would have to go back to the store and get them. So he left with the police officer.

After Chris left, we waited around for a couple more hours. But then it seemed like we were just wasting time, and felt like we weren't in that much danger anymore, so we all decided to leave. We walked past a hospital that had a long line of people who were shot in their arms/legs and their family and friends were there to help them. And then we went to our respective homes.

Chris called me minutes after I got home, and he asked me to pick up the papers from him since he was needed somewhere else, and drop it off someplace. He said it was a matter of life and death. So I picked up the papers even though I was terrified, and I started driving in the snow to get to my destination point. While I was driving, my dad came up to me and he pounded on the door and said, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! GET BACK IN THE HOUSE!" I responded, "Dad... I need to do this. I need to help save people's lives! I can't just sit around and not do anything when something is asked of me! I'll be right back. Don't worry!" And i left.

I got to my destination point which was right next to the big hospital. But I saw two men who looked VERY suspicious. They were eyeing me and my gut feeling told me they were disguising themselves as normal pedestrians, but were soon going to kill us all, especially me, since they realized I detected something. SO I RAN AS FAST AS I COULD to the hospital and up the stairs to somewhere safe. I came to the mailing room up in the post office and I asked if this spot was safe. The manager told me yes and they asked if I wanted to join them for dinner. Since people at the office decided not to leave, they were going to order from sushi.come and eat at the office. So even in the midst of all that terror, I decided, well I can definitely go for some sushi right now. So we all sat down to eat sushi, and I had salmon. And somehow, some of my old college friends were there too, so we just talked about how things had changed ever since college, and for the first time in hours, I felt a little safer.

OK. So.... when I woke up I said to myself... this HAS to have some kind of meaning. Because everything just seemed so clear and I have been having these kind of dreams a couple times within the past week. SO i decided to look up the meaning of some of the elements in my dream. This is what I found:

Boyfriend

To see your boyfriend in your dream, represents your waking relationship with him and how you feel about him.

Friend

To see your friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.

To see your childhood friend in your dream, signifies regression into your past where you had no responsibilities and things were much simpler and carefree. You may be wanting to escape the pressures and stresses of adulthood. Consider the relationship you had with this friend and the lessons that were learned. Alternatively, the childhood friend may be suggesting that you have been acting in a childish manner and you need to start acting like an adult.

Pizza

To see or eat pizza in your dream, represents abundance, choices, and variety. It may also indicate that you are lacking or feeling deprived of something.

Terror

To dream that you are in terror, indicates unresolved fears or doubts which need to be confronted.

Gun

To see a gun in your dream, symbolizes aggression, anger, and potential danger. You may be dealing with issues of passiveness/aggressiveness and authority/dependence.

Snow

To see snow in your dream, signifies your inhibitions, repressed/unexpressed emotions and feelings of frigidity. You need to release and express these emotions and inhibitions. You may also be feeling indifferent, alone and neglected.

Father

To see your father in your dream, symbolizes authority and protection. It suggests that you need to be more self-reliant.

Hospital

To see a hospital in your dream, symbolizes your need to heal or improve your physical or mental heath. You need to get back to the flow of everyday life. Alternatively, it suggests that you are giving up control of your own body or that you are afraid of losing control of your body.

Salmon

To see a salmon in your dream, represents determination, strength, and wisdom. You are able to overcome adversity and achieve success. Alternatively, it suggests that you are comfortable with expressing your emotions and dealing with them.

So, in conclusion, I healed all my past regressions, worries, insecurities, within 6 hours of my sleep. Because, the elements in the beginning of my dream tell me that I had fears and doubts that I needed to resolve. But as the dream went on, I started fighting to get better and concur those fears, doubts, etc. And then at the end, I overcame those things and I gained strength.

Man.... what a journey I had last night. Whew I feel better!

or... it could be God trying to tell me something big. hahaha :T